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[这个贴子最后由bluetulip在 2003/07/01 09:19pm 第 1 次编辑]
上次在这里贴了一篇在一个纽约的电影网站, 由一个外国人为哥哥而写的文章. 不一样的烟火说过想要翻译, 但我那时要考试没有空, 所以等到现在才译. 坦白说, 以我有限的英文水平, 那篇文章的确很有难度, 所以译得不好请大家见谅. 还有, 以下内容纯独笔者个人意见, 与本人立场无关. 虽然我不认同他某些论点, 但他作为一个”老外”对哥哥如此欣赏确实令我很欣慰.
Leslie去了. 他在46之龄自杀. 他这样做因为他不能接受自己老去及与相爱17年的人分开. 但谁不用面对这种事呢? 但Leslie就这样走了, 留下了伤痛. 时间在我们身上留下了痕迹, 谁不想永远青春呢? 如果你不是中国人或爱好香港电影的人, 那么你是不可能明白这意味着什么的. 我尝试这样解释吧, “这就好比汤告鲁斯自杀”, 但事实并不是这样. Leslie并不是Tom Cruise, Leslie就是Leslie. 他大概会对Tom Cruise有所微言, 反正他不会喜欢这个比喻.
我第一次看Leslie的电影是”阿飞正传”. 他饰演一个不良少年, 一个心碎的人颓废地直至菲律宾火车上悲剧的结局. 这是一个华丽夺目的演出, 充满戏剧的气氛, 及一个炫耀的结束. 令人无法忘怀.
不久我又看了他的”东邪西毒”. 他释演一个走进终生悔憾的剑客. 他漠然的面目偶尔流露出对自己的厌恶. 这是另一个精彩的演出, 而我也很快意识到Leslie总是这么优秀的. 即使是一部烂片, 他总可以给你一点独特的东西.
Leslie演过喜剧, 他做得很好; 演剧情片, 他也做得很好; 他开演唱会, 又是做得那么好. 他总是在想着下一步要做什么. 他在”色情男女”中露出了他近乎完美的臀部; 他凭”霸王别姬”走向国际. 他坦然的示人. 他演出”春光乍泄”, 当大家的赞赏都落到梁朝伟身上的同时, Leslie就是担起了那个犠牲的角色, 去演那个自恋, 坚定但卑微的何宝荣. 我们都看过那些访问, Leslie穿得很漂亮, 一边吸着烟一边取笑着那些明星朋友如周润泼, 袁咏仪等. 这个就是他所建立的形象: 一个我行我素的玩世不恭的人因为他有足够的才华去给予大家每一次都是好的东西. “英雄本色”, “倩女幽魂”, “金枝玉叶”, 胭脂扣”, “白发魔女传”……假如没有这样一个永远年青, 永远悦目, 永远美丽的男人演出一套又一套的好戏, 挥舞着他那像武器般的样貌和才华, 香港的电影史会是怎样?
关于他为何自杀的传闻不绝于耳. 他近年的作品都渐趋阴沉. 在”异度空间”和”鎗王”中他都需要向内心阴暗处钻研, 剖析人性. 而这些作品都是很可观的. 或者他意识到随着年纪渐大是时候把自己建立为性格演员, 向更高难度的角色挑战. 人们说他在感情生活受到创伤, 或是他抑郁等等, 但我们永远都不会知道真相.
我们所知的只是: 他自杀时他只是一个男人. 当他看着镜里的自己时, 他不是一个成功的演员, 不是一个天皇巨星; 他只是一个男人看到自己向后移的发线, 扩张的腰围, 愈来愈少的选择. 他没有看到我们对他的期望和爱慕. 我们都令他超于常人, 但在他的最后一天, 他只是一个普通人, 一个兄弟, 一个儿子, 一个男朋友. 他很孤独, 孤独得令他不能承受再活多一分一秒.
当我看着Leslie的”金玉满堂”时, 我无法想象营幕上的那个男人就是在酒店自杀的那个. 营幕上的那个男人是多么的灵敏, 幽默和无所畏惧, 而且他将会永远年青. 但那个在酒店房间里的男人所受的伤害却是那么的深, 深得他觉得自己不能继续下去. 试图去重迭这两个男人令我的心疼痛, 控制不了自己的泪水.
一个对我意义如此大的人, 即使他永远不会知道我的名字, 他是值得拥有更多的.
Leslie, 无论你在那里, 你留下了一个摊子, 你留了一个破碎的家庭和一群心碎的fans. 但我希望你现在是快乐的. 或者你在死后的世界会找到生活中找不到的安宁. 这是你至少应得的.
----- Grady Hendrix (April 01, 2003.)
附原文：
Leslie Cheung is dead. He killed himself at the age of 46 and, by all accounts, he did it because he couldn't bear getting any older and he couldn't bear to part with his lover of 17 years. Who can't relate to that? Love goes away and it hurts. Time takes its toll on our bodies, and who doesn't wish it was otherwise? But Leslie Cheung is dead. If you're not Chinese or a fan of Hong Kong movies then it's impossible to understand what this means. I tried to explain it to someone by saying, "This is like Tom Cruise killing himself," but that didn't work. Leslie wasn't Tom Cruise, he was Leslie. He probably had something catty to say about Tom Cruise, anyways: he'd resent the comparison.
I first saw him in DAYS OF BEING WILD playing a teddy boy, breaking hearts and acting like a cad until his tragic end on a train in the Philippines as the lush green jungle rushed by. It was a gorgeous performance. It was theatrical, full of dramatic entrances and a final, flourishing exit. It was unforgettable.
A few days later I saw him in ASHES OF TIME playing a swordsman crushed beneath a lifetime of regrets, his face a wry and rueful mask, occasionally cracking to pour forth a flood of self-loathing. It was another great performance and I learned fast that Leslie Cheung was always good. Even if the movie stunk, Leslie had too much pride to let himself look bad.
Leslie did comedy, and he was good at it. He did drama, and he was good at it. He gave concerts, and he was good at those, too. And he was always thinking of what he could do next. He bared his near-perfect bottom in VIVA EROTICA. He went international in FAREWELL MY CONCUBINE. He came out publicly. He made HAPPY TOGETHER, and while it's Tony Leung who stole the show it was Leslie who did the heavy lifting as a self-destructive narcissist, giving a layered, committed and pathetic performance.
We've all seen the interviews, too. Leslie dressed stylishly, waving a cigarette around and zapping other stars with his scorpion's sting. Calling Chow Yun-fat "chubby" and "over-the-hill" calling Anita Yuen "difficult", getting away with it because this is the image he built: a gay dandy who could say what he wanted because he was talented enough to deliver the goods time after time after time. A BETTER TOMORROW, NOMAD, A CHINESE GHOST STORY, HE'S A WOMAN SHE'S A MAN, ROUGE, THE BRIDE WITH WHITE HAIR...what would Hong Kong film history be without this eternally young, eternally sharp, eternally beautiful young man flitting from movie to movie, wielding his good looks and prodigious talent like weapons?
Leslie was supposed to be bright, and beautiful, and brittle, and bitchy forever.
There's no shortage of rumors about why he killed himself. His work in recent years had gotten darker. INNER SENSES and DOUBLE TAP were movies by an actor who was delving deeper and deeper into redeeming unsympathetic characters. In both movies he's what's worth watching as he ferrets out the kernel of humanity in the arrogant individuals he's playing. Maybe he realized he was getting older and it was time to become more of a character actor, taking on difficult roles rather than leading man parts. People say he was upset over his love life, that he was depressed, that he was slipping. But we'll never know.
What we do know is that when Leslie Cheung killed himself he was just a guy. When he looked in the mirror, he wasn't a bitchy diva, a successful actor, or a fabulous pop star - he was just a guy who was looking in the mirror and seeing a receding hairline, an expanding waistline, a lack of options. He didn't see the hopes and dreams we had all projected onto him, he was seeing lines around his eyes that he had never seen before. We all made him so much bigger than a normal person, but that's what he was at the end of the day: just a normal person. He was a brother, a son, a boyfriend. And he was lonely, so lonely that he couldn't bear the thought of being alive for even one more minute.
I look at Leslie Cheung in THE CHINESE FEAST and I can't make the guy onscreen the guy in the hotel room who killed himself. The guy onscreen is fast and funny and fearless and will be young forever. The guy in the hotel room hurt so badly that he really believed that he couldn't go on. Trying to reconcile these two men makes my heart ache and my eyes water. Someone who did so much for me - even though he never knew my name - he deserves more than this.
Leslie Cheung, wherever you may be, you've left a mess behind you. You've left a devastated family and broken fans. But I hope you're happy now. May you find the peace in death that you were never able to find in life. You deserve it.
- Grady Hendrix (April 01, 2003.)
空心者：
这篇文章我重新编辑了一下，中英文我放在一起了，题目我略作修改，希望不要介意！
-------bluetulip
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