[分享]

消失在四月

Original whole interview from Oriental Sunday no: 201, 2001.
Original source by: Nadia (Many Thanks! Nadia)
Kindly contributed by: Susanna Leung of HK (Many Thanks! Susanna)
Source from Mei';s Leslie Group


Page 1 - One day, Cheung was watching TV, a real story about handicapped people produced by RTHK. He saw a girl diligently drawing with a pen holding in her mouth. He was deeply shaken by her concentration and her persistence. It suddenly dawned to him, compared to those of us with healthy limbs, if we don';t know how to count our blessings, we are really too ignorant of our luck.
Page 2 - If you asked Cheung Kwok Wing, "How wild a range could you tolerate those negative news about you today?" "What';s worse than death?"
Page 3 - Just doing my job! If you asked Cheung Kwok Wing, "Twenty years ago, if you didn';t take up this job, what else would have you chosen to do?" Cheung would smile and say, "I really don';t know". "I never felt superior in this pop scene. I just have taken a job for a long time and I devoted to it. Honestly speaking, I';m not very sophisticated educated nor superior to anyone else, there are lots of people smarter than me. Therefore I feel I have a lot of blessing. It is most important that man should appreciate everything provided to you by God, including very ordinary people and things (taken for granted). I feel lucky. A lot of people work even harder than me. At least people noticed by work. "Breakthrough"or not is not for me to say, perhaps every performance I did always brings nice surprises to the audience - to this I always have a very high standard myself."
Convicted without a reason - In the last 4 to 5 years, Cheung';s gone through a total change mentally. He learnt how to relax himself. Once upon a time, he was such a stubborn guy. "I';m definitely more relaxed. There are a lot of things I don';t mind anymore. Especially in these years, what the entertainment media gave me the feeling is, "For the sake of creating a shocking news, they';ve gone to the point they would betray any relatives or friends". That day the reporters asked for my response (the weekly showing Cheung holding hands with Tong), I said to them, "It doesn';t matter, let people have their job, the society is so bad now, employment level is so low, it';s nothing, I look away, then nothing can attack me. I did feel a bit hurt - they hold on to the same topic repeating it again and again, really, the whole thing was exaggerated to the full blow when I sang "The moon represent my heart" at my 97 concert. Reading the newspaper on the next day, from that moment onwards, I really lay myself down. I felt absolutely helpless. You put words in my mouth, there';s nothing I can do. I felt being hold back to the age of "Ngo Fei", (the greatest loyal general of Song Dynasty was convicted and executed for "No Reason Necessary"), being convicted for "No Reason Necessary". Why didn';t you report that my most beloved ones referred to my Mum and my best friend? Eventually in the reports there was only the friend but without mentioning my Mum. I';ve proof - the LD of the concert is still available, but for this reason, I have lost several markets, why did they do this?"
The most important is a pair of breast - Especially with the recent bad news, the Twin World Trade buildings become rubbles within several hours, Cheung became even more lay back. "In one incident up to tens of thousands of elites died, why do we still hurting each other? Isn';t it that the entertainment business is to make people happy? Now it';s only the newspaper and magazines feeling happy, but not me. Once incident touched me most was when I was on a promotional tour in Japan, those promotional personal asked me, " Why the Hong Kong media would package you people like monster?" I did not have an answer. When seated, they can discuss with you in details about all the dialogues and shots in "Days of Being Wild" and "Double Tap", but not asking whether there was any intimate kisses or exposure of the breast etc. I felt worthy to praise Chung Lai Tai (for her recent explosive pictorial). No matter what, she leads a new trend, this is considered "out" in foreign countries, even in Taiwan. Long time ago the heroine in "The Chinese Feast" has her breast shown. Now the most important is for women to have a pair of breast, talking about CDE cup etc., that';s all that they want. So I rarely accept interview these days now, (no matter what I say), the result is the same. No fun."
In the process when he really puts things (defamations) behind, to Cheung, is not that painful. - "Not really (painful). Step back and look away, then it is not that difficult. Up to a point when you feel that all that you have done do not obstruct anybody, you feel happy, friends like you, what else do you want? In this life, I have only one principle "Don';t ever harm anybody". When you reach the stage, when family, friends are working partners all treasure you, this is excellent".
Page 4 - Cheung would smile and say, "It';s nothing". People showed him the holding hand magazine cover, his first response was "Quite pretty, like a poster". "Nothing special. Just friends helping each other. I was a bit drunk. My friend picked my hand and said: "let';s go". And that';s definitely not a cigarette in my hand, just the cinema ticket I folded and played around my fingers. I have quit smoking for a long long time. I felt the other party think just the accusation seems not enough, they have to dump you shit and wait for you to die! I don';t mind, I think it';s quite pretty, make a poster. I didn';t have a thought when I was back home and straight to bed. I have work to do and don';t have time for that. I think one of Deborah';s saying applies here, "Does it cost your life?" Is there anything worse than death? Nobody';s lifestyle is exactly the same in this world, whenever you can, just try to complement each other. Not possible? Too bad. Because you have only one life, me the same. We have this life, not the next. When together now, we try our best to treat each other well, give your heart."
Through many years, Cheung is familiar with all the criticism, defamation and slender against him, all these should have become common events. "The first and second times, I was scared. I was so young then. All things must pass. Clear the clouds and blue sky will be back. Growing up, I become more "Ah Q" (a fiction character who always finds something to be happy about, when bad things happens to him): "Ok, what';s next? Just see what';s next to bring up?" This is definitely not giving up, I only want to have my own lifestyle, I didn';t offend anybody or affect anybody';s life, on the contrary, you are the intruder, intruding into my own privacy, I can only try my best to preventing people to intrude into my spiritual and my daily life. You want to come, I don';t mind, you want to make up stories, I can do nothing, ok, it';s lucky that I have such a long time for me to get mature. It';s better than those newcomers, with one make-up story and several reports, they';re gone forever."
Don';t treat me like a commodity - To say Cheung doesn';t mind losing his privacy completely is not true, but when in this situation, "You do mind? What can you do?" "Now everything I do is known. The last few days I was followed after work. I know that. That day I was off work at 8 p.m., I dined at Mandarin, that van with window screen down targeted at me with a lens big as canon. I thought, do you really need to do that? You could search every tiny details to expose my privacy, but most of them were made up stories! Like the "cigarette" in my hand, like adding up my "fortunes", but I';ve never speculated on any properties. I';m not a big spender, no gambling, no bad habits and I can save some earnings. Having seen some of our predecessors become apathetically poor at old age, I learn to self-discipline myself. I throw Christmas parties for friends to have a great time, treat teammates when working, that won';t get me broke. Now I feel the most important is making everybody happy, life is too short, people working with me feel happy and delighted, I live up to be named "Gorgor" (elder brother, a respectful greeting). I don';t want to show off, I don';t need a Mercedes nor Porshe coupé to pick me up to work, if you pick me up, I just wish you don';t use a cargo van, because I';m not a cargo! I';ve never asked a lunch from Peninsula Hotel while working at Mongkok (a district very close to Peninsula), I';ll eat what everybody is eating, I was trained up from Shao Lin Temple (the origin of Kung Fu training, symbolize the hardest and most practical original training for any discipline), I can carry my bag and go to work by myself."
Page 5 - A man reaching 40 difficult to cope. "Ah Q" Cheung Kwok Wing, accepts things as per se, pain to him, only are physical ones. "What is pain? Only physically. At the most, 3 days and 3 nights without sleep. So I lead a healthy life, get up and retire early, exercise, play badminton. To retire at 4 a.m. in the morning is something I can';t as I';m over 40. You ask me if I don';t need to worry about living? Now, may be yes. On the contrary only when I came back after retirement then I really don';t worry. When I retired, the sum of money was sufficient for my living, but not in Hong Kong. At that time I have plan, there would be no problem in Canada when I live thrifty and I thought living happily spiritually is more important than living extravagantly. I don';t mean I need to travel by bus, but at least it provides me security. At that time I was not aware that money will deflate. Today if you ask Nicholas Tse or Cecilia Cheung, they would like to retire by 28 or 30 too! Facing such a competitive environment, the pressure is so intense, there';s no time for a sleep, then up to certain stage, you realise that you';re unable to laugh heartily, talking according to script written by others, you';ll be very depressed, the only time when you speak from your heart, others will say, "You';re crazy, talking like that, haven';t you been ridiculed enough?" I';m not very articulate, but I try to be true to my heart, it';s my character. Many people say I';ve changed, but I';ve never changed, only that I';ve become happier. Before I earned sufficiently, but I was not happy, too much pressure, too much "no reason necessary" convictions, I always say as an artist, I sell my performance, not myself!"
What is "Love"? The simple word "Love", how does it weigh in the heart of Cheung Kwok Wing? "Everybody will have a different view of love. I feel I';m a person who cares a lot about his family and friends. All in all, once become a friend is a friend forever. Others are not important. But once locked in as a friend, but eventually betrayed me, I would be very unhappy. Friends don';t need to see regularly. What I treasure most is the feeling, not only love, it';s the human relationship because we';re not living in isolated islands. Before I figure it out, I live in Tai Tam, far away from the city area. I retreat to my hermit life after work. Now, I live in Mongkok, Kadoorie Hill, do I fear being photo? What to afraid of? I';ve to live my life, even if I live at the Peak, they still can take photo easily. The only thing troubles me is, because of me, my friends are being disturbed and intruded, I always feel sorry for my friends."