If we knew more ~ SCMP （2004/03/31）

刘堅英

[这个贴子最后由午夜星空在 2004/11/14 07:43pm 第 2 次编辑]


                             If we knew more ~~~~

                               
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He said, laughing, “I don’t want to die”.  He was in good spirits.  That’s why it was such a shock to us all”

Singer-actor Leslie Cheung died a year ago tomorrow.  Three fans hope his suicide will raise awareness about depression, writes Mathew Scott
LIKE MOST PEOPLE in Hong Kong, Deborah Li Kit-ming was left dazed and confused by the events of April 1 last year.  At about 4pm that afternoon, the general manager of Causeway Bay';s Fusion restaurant waved goodbye to one of her most loyal customers.  He had stayed on for more than an hour after dining on his favoured spaghetti bolognaise for lunch, and had seemed in high spirits, cracking jokes with his lunch companion and with the staff members who had come to consider him as much a friend as a customer.
By about 7pm that evening, however, the mood in the restaurant had changed.  The news had started to trickle in.  And most eyes were focused, disbelieving, on the television.
After he left the restaurant, Leslie Cheung Kwok-wing had made his way to the Mandarin Oriental in Central.  Once there, he had sat alone on the balcony outside the hotel';s health centre, ordered a drink and, later, a pen and paper.  At 6.41pm, his body was found lying on the street, 24 floors below. Sources would later reveal the note he left behind began with a single word: "depression".  And since then his fans have tried to make sense of it all.
"That day, Leslie had come in dressed in a linen suit - he always dressed so well.
And he was friendly and seemed happy - like he always did," says Li, as we sit in Fusion, where Cheung would dine three or four times a week, right up to the day of his death.
"It was a place where he could really relax," says the 48-year-old, who grew up a Cheung fan. "Fans would see him, but even if they asked for his autograph, it would not bother him. He was just a nice guy, he would sit down in his favourite seat, go to the bathroom a few times - because he always liked to check how he looked in the mirror - and just relax here."
On April 1, Li says, things were no different. "This is what shocked us all so much," she says. "He came in, and I said, “You look great today”.  He seemed so normal.  There was a private party on in the area he normally occupied, so we moved him near the window.  We closed at 3pm, but it was just like home for him.  We were cleaning and he just stayed here.  And at that time there was SARS and I remember someone sneezing and he put his hands over his face.  He said, laughing to his friend and me, “I don';t want to die”.  He was in good spirits.  That';s why it was such a shock to us all.  Someone rang us and we turned on the television straight away.  We were all standing there, staring - we just could not believe it."
We have been joined at the restaurant by Cheung fans Julie Ng, Josephine Poon and Sarah Cheng. Ng and Poon first contacted me in February, when they expressed concern that in an interview with John Woo, the director had mentioned Cheung';s death and the fear he had felt for the effect it might have had on the star';s fans.  Their unfounded worry was that Woo was pointing the finger at Cheung rather than at the cause of his death - his depression.  And so they suggested we met at Fusion to talk about the confusion they shared with the staff there when they heard of his death; the effect his death had on them and what - if anything - they say his public can learn from it all.
"Since his death, the main thing we have learned," says Ng, "is that Leslie Cheung did not kill Leslie Cheung; depression killed Leslie Cheung.  And that is the message we have tried to give to his fans - that even someone as successful as him can suffer from this disease, and that it can be treated."  The trio present an interesting cross-section of Leung';s fans - Cheng and Poon had followed him for more than 20 years, while Ng';s allegiance began only after April 1 last year." It was only after his death that I became a fan," says Ng. "I am not into local music or local movies.  But once I started to read everything, to think about him, I started to see how important he was and just what we had lost. He was gentle, kind, sincere and honest."
The three fans plan to mark Cheung';s anniversary by attending the candle-lit vigil at the Mandarin Oriental, as well as a church service and screenings of some of the star';s films.  They are also keen to meet up with overseas fans who are making their pilgrimage to town this week.  "We found on the websites after his death that he had so many overseas fans and they [also] wanted to know why he died," says Poon.  And Ng says: "We have since tried to find out as much as we can about depression, and to let them know about it."  Over the past 12 months the trio say they have learned how depression can strike anyone and have begun, through the various Leslie Cheung websites, to urge his fans to learn more about the malady, hoping that this, at least, will bring something positive out of all the grief.
Li says Cheung';s death has highlighted an issue Hong Kong people haven';t wanted to address.  And, she says, maybe that is something that has changed since April 1, 2003.  "Even his best friend could not feel on that last day that there was anything wrong with him," she says. "But now we know there was.  Maybe if we knew more, we could have helped."
mathew.scott
Life, South China Morning Post
31 March 2004

小午： 刘，我编辑了你的标题，另外因为cyberworld打开太慢，我把图片换成荣光的链接了。不好意思。*^_^*

红尘为你钟情

照片很经典！！可我看不懂你的是什么啊！
翻译一下啊吧  楼主！